You work out of a Hotel?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
