it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The power of my boobs compel you
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
