she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
