I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
