I want to walk on stilts...naked
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Randomize
