ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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