Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
