i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Randomize
