took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
