Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
