Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
