Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
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