Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
organizing the empties. That sober.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
