I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
