what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
