i just had sex bonerless
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
