after a month anything with tits is on the radar
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
