I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
