I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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