its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
