Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i permit you to call me
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
