I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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