We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
