I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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