Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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