Do vagina's smell?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize