Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
