uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you win again, gameday.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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