You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
