Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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