Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I deserve this hangover.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
