This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is Oprah even human
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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