do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
