why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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