The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
