..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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