so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
