We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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