Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
