It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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