Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize