He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
