i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
