She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
