Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
