S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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