SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
