Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
