it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize