u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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