I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
