glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
