problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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