I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
