actually, I'm a sock model
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
