you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize