I'm really into asian looking animals
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize