I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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