I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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